Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
