I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
