we have officially lost it.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
