You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
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I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
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I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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