Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize