Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
