I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
COCAINE IS GR8
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize