my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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