Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
