she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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