You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
