So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
