the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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