I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
