Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
