ugly people sure do ruin things
two words: eviction party
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Randomize
