I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you would pick up someone in the library
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
