Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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