There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
