I'm going to jail i love you
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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