Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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