I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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