Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Umm I'm too high to move.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
