I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
