Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
