Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
