The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
