My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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