NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
