I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
