nut hugger
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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