oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize