I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
