But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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