Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
