Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
