Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize