i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
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I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
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So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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