Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
