I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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