First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize