I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
