she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize