Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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