We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
