Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
