making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
