I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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