its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
