i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
