Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize