just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize