Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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