I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
