His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
