at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
they're like a gay fantastic four
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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