We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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