Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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