Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
This girl is more easily done than said...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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