You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
