I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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