Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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